Have you ever done something in your life that makes you feel like you’re in a free fall? Maybe you’re the adventurous type and have gone skydiving or bungee jumping, but I’m not that kind of girl! What I’m talking about is more in a figurative sense than a literal one, although kudos to all you crazy adventurers out there who are willing to face danger for the rush of adrenaline it provides. I just recently made a giant leap of faith into the unknown, and I’m here to tell you all about it!

So today I am writing to remind myself of these things and also because I want to give people a handy dandy guide of what NOT to say to people who have suffered a loss. These are all things that have been said directly to me. They were most often well-meaning but cut to my already bleeding heart. Instead, here are some things to say that show people experiencing loss that you’re here for them. Don’t try to fix things. Show up and be willing to sit with people in their pain. And, if they’re like me, give them space and grace to grieve alone.

When it comes down to it, the only time you should be giving birth on your back is if you want to. Don’t let a provider use scare tactics or threats to get you to comply with their wishes. You have the legal and ethical right to give birth in whatever position feels the most comfortable to you. Listen to your body, know your rights, and surround yourself with people who will advocate for you in your most vulnerable time. You’ve got this!

If you’ve been paying any attention to the state of our maternity care system in the USA lately, you will not be shocked to hear that it is in dire need of help. Maternal deaths have sharply increased from 2018 to 2021, with approximately 80% of those deaths being preventable. The CDC recently reported that 1 in 5 women reported mistreatment while pregnant or postpartum and 1 in 3 women were Black, Hispanic, or multiracial. We could cite many reasons for this sharp uptick in maternal deaths in recent years…